Prana Shakti, Partnership, Pregnancy, Parenthood, Preparation, Power and Pranams.

My personal Path of Practice:
Prana Shakti
(the creative & pulsating life force within me), Partnership (a love story of two people who consciously choose one another every day), Pregnancy (Grace in my belly revealing herself through this growing baby boy who lives in my womb), Parenthood (The highest calling of them all), Purification (of all self-defining labels accumulated along the way) Preparation (for a new life, a new calling and for the birthing of all this woman has yet to become, experience, learn and know), Power (to fully stand in mine as a wife, mother and creative woman) Pranams (daily gratitude and humble thanks for my beautiful life and blessings along the way).

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Undiscovered & Unexamined Gifts

"Inaction is the greatest risk of all." Tim Ferriss

I believe in my soul that we all have gifts. I believe in my bones that we have all been blessed with these gifts in one way or another. In some forms, like a child prodigy in the way of music or art for example, these gifts are obvious. For some, like Micheal Jordan who got cut from his middle school basketball team then later became one of the world's greatest basketball players of all time, the gift is there but needs some work.

I have been considering my gifts; my under developed and unexamined gifts both recognized and the ones I have no idea that exist. Here are my thoughts:

We must train our gifts. Some of these blessing, I believe, actualize themselves in a tangible way. The talent is just there. In other ways however, I believe our gifts reveal themselves in our longing itself. The way author Carolyn Myss describes in one of her books...Anatomy of Spirit I believe it was, there is a seed that was planted long ago when we crossed that river before we were born into this world after having chosen the family we were to be born into to live the life that would need to live to learn the lessons we would need to learn to come into *full* self realization. With this, I have found myself looking at those longings, at the obvious potential in the way of certain talents no matter how undeveloped and have found myself sort of seeking out those talents and gifts I've been oblivious to.

When I look at music for example I realize that to someone who is not musically inclined, they might feel that I have some real talent. Being musically inclined however, and I don't say this from a self-defeating place mind you, I can see where I lack some skill and where I, dare I say, am not skilled enough to pursue it in a professional the degree that I view "professional" anyway. Now before you jump my shit, give me a moment to explain. I say this from a place of accountibility. I realize this is one of my gifts. My longing and musically inclined ability is a blessing I've been given but it's one I have leisurely worked on and have trained next to not at all. Some people come out of the womb with the ability and skill. I have been given the talent but it's up to me to exercise that talent.

Everyone is on the ball field but not everyone is playing the game.

We are all Graced with talents, gifts and blessings but often they are nothing but longings that require time and attention. Just as a professional (fill in the blank) trains for their big event, they train it. They train the skill. First the longing, then the potential is discovered (maybe) but then the skill; the craft must be trained.

So as I prepare to go into the studio this summer for a recording project I've sat on for 2 years, I find myself in a process with a fierce determination to uncover the hidden talents, gifts and blessings I've been Graced with. I am going to put more of my energy into following what the Tantrikas yogins call, the Spanda or the creative and very ALIVE pulse and creativity within us all. I'm going to see what I find there.

If for no other reason, discovering, exercising and developing our talents and longings make us feel more fulfilled resulting in our being better people in the world for having done so.

At the end of my day, when I am in my final breaths as I'm surround by the people who make my heart tick, I need to know there was no stone left unturned and no wrapped gifts in the bag left undiscovered and unopened.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Small Life vs Big life

I attended my very first Yoga Teacher Training with the Living Yoga Program where my roommate for the 10-day, 100 hour segment portion of the training was a gal named Gwen Bell who would later become a huge social media sensation (no really... she made the Forbes list for Most Influential Women in Technology and she's far younger than I. Ironically, she no longer considers herself a social media strategist and has goals of a permanent digital sabbatical...including email of course). Over the years I have been in touch with Gwen on and off and have followed her blogs and website (which has been totally revamped and simplified with far less content including a lot of bragging rights she has earned through her fierce dedication to her ever changing work in the world) as well as her twitter (nearly 18,000 faithful followers) and I continue to be inspired by the way she lives her life.

Those who know me well, I mean really well know that I consider myself a modern day renunciate to the point of regularly cleaning out my life of un-necessary tangible and materialistic items. Simply stated, I don't like stuff just for the sake of having stuff. Furthermore, I have to love it to buy it if it's $5 or $500. To me, I find it wasteful is something does not serve a purpose (and that purpose might be simply to have something beautiful to look at that inspires me but even so, same rules apply). I don't know where this began but I'm pretty sure it was when I was married, in the process of preparing for a divorce I intuitively knew was coming and needed to happen. I remember looking at the stack year books that had belonged to my mother that somehow ended up with, calling a friend and asking "Am I a horrible person if I toss these in the dumpster?" I also remember the relief in the realization that my mother herself would have stood there had she been alive and said to me, "Baby girl... if you are feeling bogged down because of those books or anything else, through that shit out!" And that's exactly what I did.

Ever since that moment, I have owned that part of myself to the point that when I start to feel crazy in my head, it's likely that I am surrounding myself by a bunch of un-necessary shit that clutters my life and mind. It might be people who drain me or it might be un-necessary random shit that serves no purpose or has any real use what so ever. All of this to say, I've got nothing on Gwen in comparison.

I'm actually not comparing here, just using Gwen as a term of measure actually. She's much more of a renunciate than I.

She was being interviewed and was asked the question as to when and why she got off of Facebook. Of the 3-page interview I read, it was her answer to this question that really got me thinking.

I quit Facebook when I realized it made my life smaller, not bigger. That was December 2010. I went through about a week of withdrawal and haven't  returned.

This got me thinking, "how are my choices contributing to a smaller life rather than the bigger one I want to be living?"

I'll be taking a deeper look at my life as to where I can simplify to expand, where I can clean and clear out so that there is more room to grow and I'll be taking inventory on what I can let go of in every aspect of my life. I like to do this often but as I am in a big, beautiful and exciting shift in my life, I am preparing for a larger "semi-annual" big clearing if you will.

I choose the bigger life. I choose to act in a way that supports creating that bigger life. I choose to make changes where I feel there is clutter in my life mentally, emotional and literally because I know the result creates a clutter-free spiritual life. I want to be the best I can be for myself and when I am at my best, my light shines its brightest for the people I love and surround myself with.

It's never crowded along the extra mile. -Dr. Wayne Dyer