I'd been fighting with myself for quite some time because I consciously chose a path of self-study long before conceiving, then recommitted to this path having taken serious vows once I found out I was pregnant. I proclaimed to the Universe that I'd go through whatever it took to purge my heart and life of my "stuff" and to enter a new way of being so that I could be the best mother possible for my child. This was my declaration from the moment I found out I was pregnant and let me tell you what... The Universe definitely answered that call and continues to do so. It's been the most beautifully, gut wrenching, heart expanding, most excruciating experience of my life but I will walk through any fire and die to my old self as many times as necessary in order to leave this body and exit this world having been my very best for this child.
It's really much deeper than that but in general, I have a very conditioned tendency to create stories in my head very quickly that always result in toxic levels of self-inflicted stress...very, very high stress and a whole lot of suffering. It had gotten so bad that I recently found myself at a medical facility having blood drawn because I was growing seriously concerned that something was wrong.
What I've come to realize in less than a weeks time is that my thoughts have been wrecking havoc on my body and wellbeing.
I began researching case studies and more "scientific" aspects of stress and how I could decrease mine stress levels. I should add that I have a regular yoga and meditation practice that is my saving Grace but it doesn't usually sustain me in the heat of the moment. I truly couldn't imagine where I'd be without my personal sadhana (sacred practice) because my stress and anxiety levels can go through the roof on any given day. This, I found to be a little depressing considering how long these practices have been a way of life for me. They definitely help me in so many ways but I was seeing that I needed to address the root of the problem. Fortunately I had a good starting point in knowing that the problem had everything to do with my thoughts.
It's NOT real. It's conditioning and while I've had experiences in this lifetime and in lifetimes past that have deeply affected my present day experiences, I'm realizing that
I have the power to change my neural pathways.
By telling myself "Not Real." mid thought, I stop the story dead in it's tracks at its conception and I save myself a plethora of bodily tension, stress, anxiety and even anger. I'm seeing that when I buy into the conditioned addiction (conditioning and repetition of any kind can definitely become a subconscious addiction) of allowing these stories to play out, my vibrational frequency becomes lower and lower.
What I means is...
When I'm (you/we/anyone) under constant stress (which results in an overspill of cortisol/stress hormone which can create a whole *other* problem), I'm in my lower level thinking (in yoga we would call this the Ego self) human self. When constantly in our lower level thinking brain, our vibration/energetic field decreases. When our energetic field decreases, WE BECOME SICK.
In less than a week, I've elevated my levels, frequency and consistency of happiness and have decreased the levels and frequency of stress exponentially.
To add to this, I've also consciously begun offering something to myself that increases my vibrations immediately following these 2 very powerful words...
Try it... think of the face of someone you love beyond words or your "happy place"...notice what changes in your body when aligning yourself with Love. There's likely a softness within your tissues whereas before (in a state of stress) there's a gross muscular tension and/or a tightness of breath...nothing too subtle about it. In your sweet space, the tissues soften, the muscles relax, the corners of the mouth turn up, we experience an inner spaciousness and a lightness of Being... and our energetic heart field expands.
(Sanskrit for "VICTORY!")